How Community Is Made
Published: 2013-02-26
Translation
This is a translation of a Bulgarian-language post. It conveys the content faithfully but is not the author's original English writing.
Since I have declared to the universe that I will either do things in the best way I know and always give the very best I am capable of, or else not take them on at all, I am obliged to share with you this very important document, which — like everything else in this world — comes exactly on time!
Via Milena Nikova and Miroslav Radev.
After years of visiting and studying ecovillages and intentional communities in North America, Diana Leafe Christian identifies nine questions which, posed at the very beginning, will help avoid future conflicts — and therefore improve the chances of a wonderful idea growing into a thriving community.
Founding an Ecovillage — "Structural Conflict" and Nine Ways to Resolve It
by Diana Leafe Christian
Since the early 1990s I have been researching what helps the founders of new ecovillages and communities to thrive, socially and interpersonally. Since many ecovillages are a form of intentional community, in this article I use both terms interchangeably. It is one thing to create an ecovillage on the physical plane; it is a greater challenge to create a "spirit of community" — a feeling of deep trust and connection with a new group of people who come to feel like family. Fortunately for me, as editor of Communities magazine in the States in the 1990s, I was in a position to visit, phone and exchange emails with the founders of dozens of communities in North America. I wanted to know what works, what does not work, and how to avoid having to reinvent the wheel.
I was surprised, even shocked, by what I found. No matter how inspired and clear of vision the founders were, only one in ten communities managed to survive. The other 90% seemed to go nowhere — sometimes for lack of funds or failure to find the right place, but mostly because of conflict (and sometimes accompanied by a lawsuit!).
This was heartbreaking — people inspired to create a new way of life based on the ideal of ecological sustainability, shared resources and joint decision-making, and yet 90% of them not only failed to found a new community, but often ended up in court, one against another with their hired lawyers.
So what was the missing "glue" of community? Which factors helped the successful 10% not only get up and act, but also communicate successfully with one another?
"Structural conflict" and how to limit it
I learned that the purely structural steps of creating a new settlement — forming the core group with a specific vision and purpose, choosing a property, having a membership policy, and so on — are closely connected to the interpersonal aspects of life in the settlement later on. The degree to which the residents of a community successfully fit together is influenced by two things:
- the quality of their interpersonal relationships — their willingness to be open, honest and courteous with one another; and
- whether or not potential conflicts down the road were built into the structural steps mentioned above.
After years of interviewing group founders, listening to their stories of how their community fell apart, I began to see a pattern. Most failures seemed to stem from what I called "structural conflict" — difficulties that arise when people do not set certain processes in motion or make important organisational decisions at the beginning, allowing one or more gaps in their organisational structure. These built-in structural problems are like time bombs. A few weeks, months, or even years later, a serious conflict erupts in the group — a conflict that could have been prevented if specific questions had been discussed at the very start. Of course, these "structural conflicts" at the same time set off interpersonal tensions and make everything even worse.
While interpersonal conflict is something normal and to be expected, I believe that most "structural conflicts" in failed communities could be avoided, or at least greatly limited. This can happen if the founders pay attention, right at the start, to the vital elements listed below. If these elements do not receive attention in the early stages, each one could create a structural-conflict "time bomb" later.
1. Define the vision of your ecovillage, also the mission/purpose, and create documents about the vision. One of the most destructive sources of structural conflict in ecovillages can appear when different members of your group have different main reasons for being there. This can grow into arguments about things that look ordinary — how often you work together on a particular community project, how much money you allocate to it, and so on. It is really a matter of hidden differences (probably not always conscious) about what the ecovillage is for. (I use the term "vision" to mean how the group wants to see the world as a better place, and the term "mission/purpose" to mean what your individual group will do to achieve that vision.) It is necessary that all members have a similar vision and mission/purpose from the start, and that it is clear everyone supports it.
The vision must be discussed thoroughly, approved and written down from the very beginning. When a group has no shared vision and purpose, later, during meetings, this can grow into severe conflicts. The reason is that people passionately defend what they want, without realising that the argument arises from unconscious notions about what exactly the ecovillage is for. And when people who already live in a community realise they hold two or more different versions of the common mission/purpose — who is "right" and who is "wrong"? Who stays to live in the settlement, and who packs their bags and leaves?
2. Use a fair, participatory decision-making process. If it is to be consensus, first practise it. If one leader or a small group makes all the decisions in your ecovillage, people will resent the imbalance of power, and this will cause conflict (unless you are forming a spiritual, religious or healing ecovillage with a recognised leader — and everyone agrees to that from the start). Resentment connected to questions of power can create enormous conflicts in a community. Decision-making is the most obvious display of power, and the more this process is fair and shared, the less likely it is that this type of conflict, born of a power imbalance, will appear. This means that everyone in the group has a say in the decisions that will affect their life in the ecovillage.
Another source of conflict is to use the consensus model of decision-making without first understanding the process fully. What is often taken for consensus in many groups is what I call "pseudo-consensus" — a poorly understood attempt at consensus, but without a real grasp of its principles or methods. This includes using consensus as a method without the group being clear in advance on the basic criteria for its use — namely, a shared vision and mission/purpose, or equal access to power (meaning that one person is not the landlord and the others tenants, or one a boss and the others subordinates). You also need a deep understanding that it is rare for someone to be able to oppose a proposal — that can only happen if there is a principled reason. Pseudo-consensus "wears people out", drains the group's energy and goodwill, and gradually creates huge resentment in people. So if your group plans to use consensus in decision-making, then, to avoid major structural conflict, practise first. (See point 8, below.)
3. Build trust and connection — the "glue of community" — right at the start. Starting an ecovillage is not solely about ecological sustainability, but also about creating a sense of community — a spirit of common wellbeing in which you are emotionally connected to the others and know them deeply. Being connected to others, feeling trust in your relationship with them, in itself limits conflict. Not because conflict will not appear, but because when it does, it does not hit you so hard. Conflict between people who do not know each other well or do not trust each other can feel jarring and painful. The same conflict between people who know and trust each other will, from the outside, look mild and resolve easily.
What builds trust and connection? Working together, eating together, telling stories, heart-to-heart conversations on personal or interpersonal matters, singing, dancing, joint rituals and celebrating together. Many forming groups host weekly or monthly lunches, often combined with working meetings, which definitely contributes to the "glue of community". Making decisions together, emotionally charged conversations and heart-sharing also work. In North America, one of the best ways for people to feel what the "glue of community" is, is to spend a weekend in a country cottage with a kitchen — preparing and eating meals together, walks and swimming, sport, making music and singing, and telling stories around the campfire. Storytelling is an excellent way to create closeness at deep levels, especially if the topics are self-revealing and personal. One of the emotionally richest practices for creating "connection" in a community that I have experienced is the Giving Circle.
4. Establish agreements clearly — in writing. (This also includes the legal essence of jointly owning the land.) People remember things differently. This is not for moral reasons; it is simply a characteristic of human memory. One person may remember the middle of the discussion, another the specific decision, and a third the follow-up conversation about it over dinner afterwards. Community agreements — from those for everyday affairs to the most basic legal and financial property documents — should definitely be written down. Then, if things are remembered differently, they can always be reviewed. The problem is solved, and the conflict is avoided. The alternative — "We remember the matter clearly, and you are mistaken (and perhaps even trying to cheat us!)" — can lead to terrible conflict and even to the break-up of the community.
5. Learn the techniques of good communication; make clarity in communication and conflict resolution a top priority. My definition of "good communication skills" is being able to talk about sensitive and emotionally charged topics and still feel a sense of connection. This also includes methods for holding one another accountable to the agreements made (see point 6 below). I believe structural conflict is built into community life if attention is not paid, right at the start, to communication and group conflict-resolution skills — so that if such conflict later arises, you have working methods ready.
6. Help one another stay accountable to community agreements. People in the group can help one another keep agreements in several simple, blame-free ways. The methods rest on the principle that it is harder to forget or neglect responsibilities if they are publicly visible — that is, when the "eye of the community" is on us. People tend to seek the approval of others and to want to experience themselves as contributing to the group. Therefore, because others are watching, the task gets done. Social pressure often succeeds where good intentions fail!
Here are four methods, called "the eye of the community":
- During working meetings, agree which people will do which tasks and the deadline for them; then track the progress from meeting to meeting. At the start of each meeting there is a review of the tasks — the people or groups who took them on report whether they are done, and if not, when they will be finished. This is not a moment to make people feel guilty if tasks are not done; it is an opportunity to show interest and offer support and encouragement. (This method does not work if people use the language of blame or accusation!)
- Make a board for recording the tasks and the people assigned to each, including expected completion dates. Someone takes on the work of keeping the board up to date and visible to everyone during meetings.
- Set up a buddy system, where for everyone with a task there is someone who will check in and gently remind: "Have you moved the woodpile yet?" or "Did you find out how we can join that CSA farm?" This kind of working principle does not aim at accusation or guilt; it is about helpful enquiry and mutual encouragement.
- When someone completes a task, thank them and acknowledge the person publicly at the next community meeting. If someone has not managed a task, the whole group turns to the person with a request to try again. After a while, the simple desire not to let the others down becomes a strong motivation for more responsible behaviour.
7. In choosing co-founders and new members, choose those who resonate with your mission and purpose and are emotionally mature. A powerful source of conflict is the entry of new members into the ecovillage if they are not aligned with the shared vision, mission and values. Another case is the joining of someone whose emotional pain surfaces weeks or months later and expresses itself as destructive attitude or behaviour. This can end up costing the group many hours in meetings and draining your life force. A well-designed process for observing and orienting new people in the group is important, as is the skill of saying "No, thank you" to those who do not resonate with your values and mission. This will save enormous conflicts in the months and years ahead.
8. Establish a balanced relationship between vision and purpose, decision-making method, and membership criteria. Here is what I mean by "balanced relationship":
- First, as you know, one of the criteria for using the consensus method is that the group has shared goals and everyone knows them.
- Second, probably the best way to help new members join a new ecovillage is first to orient them to the place while they are still checking it out and have not yet made the "leap" to join. Your task includes making sure the new people understand and support the community's values, vision and purpose.
- Third, one of the most effective methods of distributing power in the group and avoiding future conflicts is to use consensus in decision-making (with everyone trained in it beforehand).
If the group has no shared mission/purpose, or if it is vaguely stated and therefore open to wide interpretation, please do not use the consensus method! It will only drag the group into contradictions, since different people will wholeheartedly defend completely different strategies, and will be confused and frustrated about why those others cannot see that obviously this should be done this way. Because the group uses consensus and everyone must give consent before a decision is made, often some will block proposals that do not resonate with their interpretation of the mission/purpose. This frustrates the group, hampers the common work, and drives people mad.
The problem is that two different kinds of structural conflict intersect and sharpen each other. You either need a "solution-seeking" method with, say, 90% agreement — which is not full consensus — or everyone agrees on the shared mission/purpose.
Then, if your settlement has no established criteria for group membership and no clear rules by which new people can orient themselves to the values, vision, financial agreements and so on — please do not use consensus, for the same reason as above. It does not matter that your group has clearly stated agreements, vision and goals if the new people who come do not know them — or if the new people know them but do not agree with them.
A final useful tip: require all new members to take part in advance in a working seminar on consensus decision-making, before giving them full decision-making rights during your meetings.
9. Learn the skill of both the mind and the heart. Founding an ecovillage is like trying to enter a marriage and start a new business at the same time — and it is exactly as serious as those two. It requires exactly the same planning and financial skills as starting a successful business, and also the capacity for trust, honesty and goodwill — as in a love relationship. The founders of successful new communities have learned this. The founders of failed communities usually have no idea of it; the latter do not know what they did not know. So the ninth main way of limiting structural conflict is: set aside time at the start and learn what you need to know.
It is necessary for ecovillage founders to cultivate skills that come from both the heart and the mind. This means learning how to speak from the heart, to make group decisions honestly, how to meet conflict and work with it creatively, and how to reach joint decisions and agreements.